I’m a sucker for Currently posts. You know, where the writer lists what he/she is doing currently. I’m also pretty nosy. Are those two related? Couldn’t be.

Here’s what I’ve been up to … currently, I’m:

  • Watching: Homeland and Dexter. If you’re not watching these shows, you’re either busy, ignorant, or just plain weird. My favorite of the two is Homeland, which captivated me from the very first episode, but this season of Dexter is helping to wash away the bad memories from seasons five and six, which I found to be subpar (for Dexter, anyway). These two shows are both from Showtime, and I would like to offer them my sincere gratitude, in the form of wine, cheese, or both (my favorite things, you know). Dear Showtime, you make my lazy Friday/Saturday nights on the couch with my husband so much more fun.

Do You Want It?

Want. We want a lot. We want new clothes and free time, boyfriends and televisions, cake and magazines. I want so many things. Yet so many things I want would do me harm in the end. Why do I desire them, then? I want short term fulfillment. I want the short term fulfillment of eating a whole wheel of soft Brie cheese, tasting it as it melts in my mouth. I want the crusty bread alongside, sort and chewy. I want to sit on the couch with my feet up all day long. I want to skip my classes and take trips all over Europe instead. I want to yell at my students when they don’t listen to me and just chatter incessantly instead of trying for once.

But I make no strides to do any of these things. Why? I know the consequences of eating too much cheese—too much belly. I know sitting on the couch will do my physical fitness no favors. I know not going to class will affect my salary. I like my precious 700 euros/month and I’d rather not have that disappear. I realize that yelling isn’t the best way to get anyone to listen.

But there are things I do want, good things, fulfilling things, wonderful things. I want to be a better person, a better future wife and mother. I want to be a better Christian, one who harbors love instead of hate or indifference. I want to be a servant. I want to learn another language. But often, so very often, I take no steps to accomplish these goals. Nonaction, it seems, is exponentially easier than action. It is easier to stay static, to stay with what’s expected and easy, than to move forward in any direction. Life is cushier here on the couch.

So, I wonder, how badly do I really want something if I take no steps to go after it?