Monthly Archives: August 2012

Tourism in Your Hometown

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Mario’s here. (Yay!) He’s visited before: in January/February 2010, August 2010, October/November 2011, and now August/September 2012. He knows what’s up in the Midwest.

Like mailboxes!

It’s been fun to show him things like Chicago,

school buses,

parts of Crawfordsville history,

how to throw the pigskin,

and much more.

Touring your own city/hometown/region can cause you to see things in a new light. For instance, mailboxes. I never thought they were special in any way; Mario did. The same thing with school buses. I also admit to not being impressed by the skyscrapers in Chicago, but guess what! Mario was thrilled.

This time we’ll be eating at a historic Indianapolis steak house (St. Elmo’s), having a labor day barbecue with my family, driving to Bloomington experience the nightlife, attending the Saturday Farmers Market in Bloomington, attending a wedding rehearsal (Mario is excited about this, naturally), and an American-style wedding (my brother’s), and many other small things. Just last night, my father took Mario to a neighbor’s house to see the deer, who flock to their property. Their house was built in the Civil War era, which he loved.

Have you ever been a tourist in your own city? Have you ever shown someone from a different country around your home town? What do you like to show them? What do they like to see?

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Two Threads

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The music is loud and it fills the room. All eyes are on us, and I can’t stop smiling. He grasps my hand, a bit harder than normal, and whispers, “Vamos.” So we enter the room, bright lights shining hotly on us, and I try to see everyone and everything, take it all in, remember everything about this moment. All these people, all this happiness, happened because we happened. We are the cause of these beaming faces, this raucous laughter, this clink of glasses. We are so loved. And we are so unbelievably lucky.

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Pretty close to where it all started

My life and Mario’s life have become intertwined, two threads of the same story, irrevocably twisted together. I didn’t mean for it to happen, didn’t head to Spain looking for love, let alone looking for him. But happen it did.

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Nevertheless, sometimes I feel a twinge of envy as I look at others’ lives. Perhaps I’m crazy, and feel free to say so, but I do sometimes envy those who aren’t headed to Spain, who aren’t married to foreigners like I am. I think of their lives, and I wonder what it’s like not to always yearn. I miss half of my world. Every day.

In the US, I miss Mario most of all, his contagious laughter, our bilingual jokes, how he tells me he loves me. I miss the sunshine and dry plains of Zamora. I miss speaking Spanish, feeling like I’m always learning and growing somehow. I miss our friends: R with his earnest attempts at English, J’s jokes, M who sees Mario much like I do. I cannot help but think of café con leche, chorizo, salchichón, and lentejas. I miss walking past the corner store that sells salt cod, sweet wine, and aguardiente. I reminisce about drinking sweet liqueurs out of frozen tiny beer steins after long lunches, the orujo staining our upper lips a milky brown. I think of paseando after dinner in the summer, when the streets are finally cool and sometimes smell of an afternoon downpour, the pharmacies’ thermometers blinking the temperature in red. I remember how to savor wine and food, linger over a meal,  and—because I must—speak deliberately, with a purpose.

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In Spain, I miss my family—my mother’s hugs “on both sides,” my father mowing the grass, chatting with my sister-in-law about the Hoosiers, the family get-togethers. I miss the green grass, the smell of fires in the fall, my backyard garden with its endless sweet green peppers and curious rabbits poking about. I miss the local Mexican restaurant, its colorful, joyful booths and waiters who already know our orders. I long for cookouts, pitch-ins, and barbecues; fireflies, dandelions, and open fields; barns, cornfields, and corner stores. I miss them all, but know they’re waiting on me to return, and I hope one day I will.

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I think that coming back and forth exacerbates it all. I read posts from former Conversation and Language Assistants who are reminded, every so often, of Spain, and they miss it. Understandably. I wonder if these feelings fade. I think they do, over time. They become less and less frequent, less and less painful. Is this good or bad, this lessening? Who’s to say? I just know that my feelings do not become less frequent; in fact, as I become more deeply entrenched in another culture, another country, another place altogether, I’m realizing that these feelings are more frequent, and often more gut-wrenching. I will never stop missing the other place. Never.

And so I face my future, knowing that something will always be missing, some hole will always be present. These holes I will fill when I return to that place; they, in turn, will be emptied when I must inevitably leave.

And please, don’t think I’m complaining—there’s no reason to complain about my life, fortunate and blessed as it is. But remember that your life, too, is fortunate. T-minus twenty-six days until I’m officially a madrileña.

Spanish Weddings vs. American Weddings—The Reception

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So, we’ve heard about the actual wedding ceremony. What about the reception?

A wedding party in Spain is, without a doubt, way more fun than in the US. Now, I love the US, but … seriously, just go to Spanish wedding and try not to have fun. Once you go Spanish, you can’t go back.

José Antonio Fernández Sánchez

I’m in it for life. With the godmother and godfather (L-R): María Jose (godmother), Mario, Alberto (godfather), me.

Photo by Mario’s talented cousin, José Antonio Fernández Sánchez.

  • Who’s invited? That depends on how much you want to spend, of course. In our case, we only had about 85 people, because most of my family wasn’t able to make it.
  • Who pays? As Erik explained on my Facebook page, “Typically the guests pay for it themselves. When you attend a Spanish wedding, you’re expected to bring an envelope with, at a bare minimum, 100€ per member of your party. We had just over a hundred guests for my Spanish wedding, and the bill (mainly for the exquisite meal) was about 10,000€. We broke even with the cash donations.” I remember my first Spanish wedding, and I was (naturally) surprised by our gift to the couple. I soon realized, however, that it’s the norm, and you’re paying for a great party, great food, dancing, and an all-you-can-drink bar. So, you’re getting a pretty good deal in the end.

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  • What do you eat? Everything. No, but there’s always a lot of food. In my experience, the eating has been as follows:
    • El cóctel (Hors d’oeuvre): After the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom generally go and take pictures. Thus, the guests are left waiting. Said guests are usually hungry. Thus, the Spanish people, great eaters that they are, invented what they refer to as the cóctel, the cocktail party before the reception. There are waiters carrying trays of drinks (beer, wine, soda, water) and all sorts of appetizers. I’ve been to weddings where they served freshly-sliced jamón ibérico.

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  • Entrante (Appetizer): After the bride and groom arrive, the guest are ushered into the dining room, after which the bride and groom will enter, with or without music. The drinks are served (white wine, red wine, and water), and the appetizer comes out. This dish can vary greatly. At one wedding I attended, the appetizer was merged with the fish dish, because no one really needs the appetizer anyway. But that’s besides the point.
  • El pescado (Fish): Next comes the fish, which can be any sort, from merluza (hake) to rodaballo (turbot), which we had at our wedding.
  • El sorbete (Sorbet): Time to cleanse your palate. Next comes the big dish, the meat! We had a mango-flavored sorbet at ours.
  • La carne (Meat): It all depends on where you are, but usually the restaurant has a specialty. In our case, the specialty was lechazo, basically lamb. In Castilla y León, they are known for their lechazo.
  • El postre (Dessert): Not many Spaniards have what we would think of as a wedding cake. In our case, it was a type of chocolate mousse (delicious, by the way). Nonetheless, we did have the pleasure of cutting a cake, though we did not eat it. And yes, we used a sword, which I found hilarious because Mario said such a thing was only done in the 1990s. He was surprised!

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The unification of two great countries. Juan is enjoying his mango sorbet in the corner.

Photo credit: José Antonio Fernández Sánchez

  • Are there toasts? Not officially. I suppose if someone wished to do a toast, he or she could do so. My father-in-law read a very special essay he wrote for us during the ceremony, which I felt was similar to a toast. (He made us all suspiciously teary-eyed.) We also had a wonderful wedding video made by someone who claimed to be anonymous, although information quickly leaked out, and we learned it had been Mario’s cousin and godmother, María José.
  • Can your clink your glass to get the couple to kiss? Well, no, but they have something better, shouting, “¡Que se besen! ¡Que se besen!”, meaning basically the same thing. Another fun thing they shout is, “¡Vivan los novios!”, which the others respond to with a hearty, “¡Vivan!”, meaning “Long live the bride and groom!” basically.

José Antonio Fernández Sánchez

Photo credit: José Antonio Fernández Sánchez

  • Is there a bouquet toss? Sometimes. Other times, like in my case, the bride can pick the person to whom she wants to give the bouquet, usually the next to marry. In my case, it was easy. My future sister(-in-law), Colleen, was there, and she’s getting married on September 15, so I presented her with it.

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  • What about the garter? Um, sometimes (like at the wedding I attended last June), but I chose not to do so. Not my thing.
  • What about the dancing? Oh, there’s dancing. Mario’s family is notorious for their dancing. They love it, and I’ve learned to love it nearly as much as they do. Usually the first dance is a waltz (much to my chagrin; I have two left feet), and we stuck with tradition. Almost all of the songs are very danceable, and meant for all ages. Thank God, there’s no such thing as the “Dollar Dance” or the “Cha Cha Slide.”

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My brother and Mario’s dad getting down on the dance floor. Mario’s dad is basically the best dancer ever. He gets the party started.

  • Open bar? Yes, always. There’s no such thing as a dry wedding, because “no one would go,” as Mario so delicately puts it.

Tell me your experiences with Spanish weddings. I’m sure they vary. Also, why are Spaniards so good at throwing parties?

Spanish Weddings vs. American Weddings

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I’ve never had an American wedding. But I have had a wedding. And I’m American. I just got married in Spain to a Spaniard, so I suppose I might know quite a bit more about Spanish weddings than American ones. Yet there are so many wedding-related movies, and I’ve been to my share of American weddings, that I think that I can point out some of the differences.

Whenever I tell my relatives about my wedding, they always want to know the same things—Did you have bridesmaids? Where was the rehearsal dinner? Why haven’t you changed your last name on Facebook yet?

So, after relistening to this old Notes in Spanish podcast (I used to listen a lot in college), Una Boda Multicultural, about a Spanish man who got married to an American woman in Sevilla, I thought I’d write about what I found different (and the same!).

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  • Engagement rings and lack thereof. I have an engagement ring, but it’s not the norm. My husband asked me to marry him back in November 2011, and he presented me with a precious ring that I still wear on my left hand. In Spain, the engagement isn’t quite so popular; in fact, none of the married Spanish women I know had one. Surely, some women do it, but it’s certainly not popular. Don’t even get me started on women thinking that the man has to spend a certain amount on a ring just to show you he loves you. Just … no. Ugh.
  • Las arras. Loosely translated as “unity coins,” las arras are coins that the bride and groom exchange to symbolize that what was now one’s own property is now communal. It’s a nice gesture to symbolize the unification of a couple’s financial goods (and therefore debts as well).
  • No rehearsal. There is no rehearsal! I know, are you scandalized yet? I understand that the rehearsal is pretty useful if you have a large bridal party and don’t want to look a fool, but in Spain there’s none of that. It made my dad pretty nervous, though, so we met up with the priest on the Thursday before the wedding to go over what was going to happen. Naturally, my dad had never been in nor seen a Spanish wedding, and now he was playing a central role, as el padrino.
  • El padrino y la madrina. In the US, the father walks the bride down the aisle; in Spain, the mother of the groom walks him down the aisle, and the father of the bride walks her down the aisle. Then they stay up there with the bride and groom, seated beside them for the whole ceremony.

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  • No bridal party. There are no bridesmaids or groomsmen, no best man or maid of honor. This actually means a lot less stress, because bridal parties are hard to coordinate!

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As a bridesmaid in my friend Hilary’s wedding, August 2010

  • Wedding bands. From what I (thought I) knew, a woman’s wedding band was a bit thinner, more “feminine” than a man’s. In Spain, I found they often showed us two of the same wedding bands. There were usually broader and more masculine than I was expecting. In Mario’s parents’ time, a lot of wedding bands were very flat, and the jewelers presented those types of bands to us as the “traditional.”
  • Ring finger. In most of Spain, you wear your wedding band on the third finger of your right hand, not your left. (However, in Cataluña, they wear it on the left.) Yes, believe it!
  • My last name. Women do not change their last names. Shocking? I don’t know why in this day and age, but it nonetheless seems to shock people. How do last names work in Spain? Here’s how:
    • Everyone has two last names. For example, María Pérez López. María got her first last name, Pérez, from her father. (For example, Marcos Pérez Medina.) María got her second last name from her mother. (For example, Laura López Castro.)
    • Traditionally, the father’s last name has to go first, and the mother’s last name has to go second. However, they’ve recently changed the law to be more egalitarian, allowing parents to decide whose last name to put first.
    • It seems confusing at first for many, but it actually makes a lot of sense, and is a lot more egalitarian than our patriarchal naming system.

Of course, there’s also the whole after-the-wedding party that’s really different, but that’s for another post, another day.

So You’re Dating a Spaniard—Bryn

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I never get tired of these! Please met Bryn, my next interviewee in my So You’re Dating a Spaniard series. I’m no longer dating a Spaniard. I’m married to one! I hope to still be able to identify with the young folk.

 

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Please introduce yourself (name, age, why you’re in Spain, etc.).

Hello! I’m Bryn Edmonston, and for all you Spaniards out there, I’m Breeeen! (Crazy how tough the “i” sound is for Spanish-speakers, including my own boyfriend.) I am 24 years old, from St. Louis, Missouri, and have been living in Spain for a little over 2 years. After studying abroad in Alicante, which I highly recommend, I fell in love with Spain and my fascination took me back a year later. I knew I couldn’t be away from Spain too long and I would work at anything to get back. Luckily, I found my way in the Auxiliares de Conversación program and have been teaching English for 2 years in a wonderful little city called Ciudad Real in Castilla La Mancha. Next year I’ll be in Burgos, in northern Castilla y León, where Fernando studies Ingenieria de Caminos, Canales y Puertos. Or, Civil Engineering for Spaniards.

I love Castilla La Mancha! And Castilla y León! Annnnnnnd my brother-in-law is that type of engineer! Obviously, we’re meant to be bff. How did you meet your significant other and how long have you been together?

Drumroll, please. We met in a … kebab! As romantic as you may think it is to meet in a kebab restaurant over the fake meat and sauce dripping down your face, it was not love and romance at first sight. It was September 26, 2010 and I had just gotten to Spain and moved in with my new roommates who I did not know. They just happened to be 2-week old friends with Fernando. He was wearing a bright yellow hoodie and cargo pants, and unimpressed, my gaze just passed him up. (Sorry, nene!) I was forced to wear the only thing I had unpacked which was a romper (shirt and shorts together) and winter boots with heels. Talk about a strange outfit. He tells me later that upon seeing me he thought I was not pretty, but “strange-looking” and that I had a genuine “cara de guiri.” He was also taken aback by the fact that I was not wearing tights. Typical Spaniard. I guess by the pictures you guys can see that for yourselves. Anyway, I remember forgetting his name at the end of the night. Oops. Lots of later meetings out and a first date on Halloween where he got his face painted showed me that he was a good sport and a lot of fun. I was smitten after I told him I would never kiss him again if he didn’t quit smoking, and he quit he following day. We’ve been having a blast (and lots of tobacco-free kisses) in the 2 years since.

Hilarious, because my husband assures me I have an “American face.” Must be in the water. Do you feel that your significant other is a “typical” Spaniard? If not, why?

To this, I would answer a resounding …not really.

Fernando is not into bulls, or Cruzcampo, or Feria, and although he is Andaluz, he hates to be called so. He enjoys some traditions that Spain is known for but also is quick to point out the flaws that Spain has. In other ways, he is typical—quick to raise his voice, quick to calm down, brutally honest, questions everything, and is down to earth.

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Which language do you speak when you’re together? Why?

Because my Spanish was infinitely better than his English when we met, Spanish has always been the language of choice. I am trying to speak English with him more. I just love speaking Spanish. It would be strange to say, “Get me the spoon, chiqui.” We have nicknames for each other in Spanish too, which I would then have to translate. Does “nene” translate to “baby?” Gross!

Translations aren’t always the most satisfying! How do you deal with the “in-law” issue? Have you met them? Do you get along?

I love Fernando’s parents! They have always welcomed me into their home and tried to make it the most comfortable possible for me to come stay with them. Upon meeting the whole family, it took me a few days to get used to their accent (Almería) and their speedy talking, especially his 2 sisters, one who is close to my age and another who is 12. We have a lot of fun together and especially his little sister always wants to be around us. And I love it! Did I also mention his mother is the most amazing cook? We have even skyped for her to share her recipes with me. I still only understand his oldest sister 60% of the time…

What is the best part about dating/being married to a foreigner (and especially a Spaniard)?

The best part is that the relationship is so enriching. Nano and I will never run out of things to say to each other, or debates to have, or things to learn. Every day I learn something new about him or about Spain and it just fascinates me. Another thing I love is his honesty. It can be hard at first to hear, but then I am grateful someone just told me the whole truth. Yeah, like the time he told me I was a “chica grande.” And Fer’s such an adventurous soul, and not afraid of change, much like myself.

What is the most difficult part?

I would say the most difficult parts are the miscommunications, the summer long distance relationships, and me worrying about his friends liking and accepting me as a foreigner. I try my best to fit in, but yet I still trip up sometimes, with language, customs, etc. Sometimes Fernando just says, “No controlas,” meaning “You’ve just said something so stupid that makes you sound like a foreigner trying to fit in with my friends.” They get a good laugh out of me sometimes.

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What advice would you give someone who is considering starting a relationship with a Spaniard?

I would suggest defining what you both want early-on. Fernando and I had a tough time deciding if it was worth it to start a full-fledged relationship that may or may not last due to distance. Once we defined the relationship and decided we were in it for the long haul, our relationship improved dramatically and our fears of commitment subsided.

Do you plan on living in the US or in Spain long term? Why?

I am completely, head-over-heels in love with Spain, even if I’m not in love with some things about it. If I could stay here and have a solid job, provided that I would have the means to make frequent trips back to the States, I would stay here. I think it is a great place to raise a family and I think kids grow up with less pressure and competition than they do in the States.

Do you plan on having children? If so, do you plan on raising them bilingual?

I plan on having children someday, and so does Fernando. If that happens together, Wooooo!

Bilingual children, of course. That includes reading and writing and speaking. I think the gift of language is one of the greatest gifts you can bestow upon your children, and it is such a disservice to waste. Fernando also speaks Italian, and I would love to learn that.

If you could import something from the US to Spain (and vice versa), what would it be?

I would import my family and friends first. They would love Spain! Many of them just haven’t experienced the real Spain, but if they did, I think they would really like it. (Not to mention I would love seeing one of my friends fall for a Spanish boy!) Also, natural peanut butter and the young age of becoming independent from your parents. As for Spain to America, the way of life and the attitude towards working to live, not living to work. And free tapas.

How has being in a relationship with a Spaniard changed you?

I can’t even begin to say all the ways it has changed me, but undoubtedly it has been for the better. I am more open, more accepting, more laid-back, and better at Spanish. I love the relationship I am in, and wouldn’t change it for the world.

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Thank you, Bryn! Please email me at kalhendr[at]gmail[dot]com if you want to be a part of this series! You can be man, woman, or anything in between!

So You’re Dating a Spaniard—Leah

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We’re back again with my interview series with American women and men (although I’ve had no men respond!) who are dating Spaniards. Alternately, if you live in Spain and are dating a Spanish-speaking person, please let me know! Now, we’ll let Leah speak for herself!

Please introduce yourself (name, age, why you’re in Spain, etc.).

My name is Leah-or “Lia” as the Spaniards always spell it. I’m a 23-year-old graduate from Harding University (International Studies/Spanish major), and I’m a Language and Culture Assistant in Cadiz.

How did you meet your significant other and how long have you been together?

I have been dating Daniel (“Dani”) for about 8 months now. The story of how we met is funny and slightly embarrassing: soon after I moved to Spain in October 2011 I was in a plaza near my apartment using the free wifi because I didn’t have internet at my apartment yet. I was engrossed in my computer when Dani approached me and asked quickly in a typical ‘gaditano’ accent; “Tienes fuego por ahí?” (do you have a light?). Unfortunately, I did not understand one word what he said, but I did not want to show my ignorance. Therefore, instead of asking what he said like a normal person would do, I made my best guess and replied; “Si, hay wifi gratis aqui.” (Yes, there’s free internet here.) I was met with a confused look followed by, “Ohhh no eres de aquí?” I proceeded to explain that no, I wasn’t from there, yes I liked Spain—except that I hadn’t made many friends yet. Of course, he jumped on that opportunity and asked me if I wanted to hang out later that afternoon. We ended up spending time on the beach near my house that afternoon, going for coffee the next day, going for a beer the next evening, etc etc and officially started dating December 2011.

P.S. (A few months later he confessed that he had a lighter in his pocket the whole time …)

How sneaaaaaky! Do you feel that your significant other is a “typical” Spaniard? If not, why?

I feel like Dani has a lot of typical Spanish characteristics, but more specifically, Andaluz characteristics: he plays soccer, plays guitar, dances flamenco and salsa, and is very family oriented.  He also has that laid back attitude that Spaniards are known for, likes the beach, and loves a good Spanish tortilla.

On the other hand, he couldn’t care less about Madrid vs Barcelona so I guess he can’t be THAT typical …

Haha! I say with just caring about fútbol he’s pretyt darn Spanish! Which language do you speak when you’re together? Why?

We pretty much only speak Spanish because my level of Spanish is much higher than his level of English. I majored in Spanish so I had a strong base level, whereas he studies English in high school but had forgotten a lot of it. (And I have to admit, I love having the opportunity to practice!)

Although he does keep me entertained with the few phrases that he does know and use:

  • “I love you/miss you sweetheart”
  • “Take it, please.”
  • “You are very beautiful.”
  • And the most common, “I speak English very well.”

How do you deal with the “in-law” issue? Have you met them? Do you get along?

He introduced me to his parents even before we were actually dating, and they are great. I feel really lucky, because they have made me feel so comfortable and welcome. His mom actually looks out for me as if I was a member of the family; she constantly is preparing homemade meals for me (because she knows I am terrible about feeding myself properly), I am always invited to family gatherings, and she even bought me gifts for ‘Los Reyes Magos’ (their version of Christmas eve). I know that I have my Spanish family, and my Spanish home.

What is the best part about dating a foreigner (and especially a Spaniard)?

For me, the best part about dating a Spaniard (besides from the obvious benefits of dating a great guy) is the opportunity to immerse myself in the Spanish culture so thoroughly. There are countless experiences I’ve had, things I’ve learned, and food I’ve tasted that probably wouldn’t have been possible on my own (i.e., New Years Eve traditional Spanish party with the entire extended family).

(I have to admit, its also fun to come home and amaze people by telling them that I’m dating a guy who doesn’t speak English … the reactions are great.)

That’s definitely a distinct experience from mine, because my husband speaks really good English! It would be interesting if he didn’t. What is the most difficult part?

The most difficult part is also what makes the relationship so interesting: the language and culture barrier. At times it is extremely frustrating because I feel like I can’t completely get my point across in Spanish. I also sometimes feel like my natural personality is harder to see because I have to focus on talking so much that it’s harder to relax and joke around like I normally would. Its always so much more difficult after a long day—I remember one night when I was really tired we were talking and I wanted to say something about a hat he was wearing. I started the sentence but when I got to the part about the hat, I couldn’t remember the word for hat! I was so frustrated that I just started crying with no warning, leaving him completely confused and bewildered!

Thankfully, Dani is extremely patient with me and never becomes frustrated if I speak slowly or don’t understand at first.

Culturally, it can be difficult because he still hasn’t had the opportunity to come visit the US, so while I know his family, city, and lifestyle very well, he hasn’t been able to see mine and therefore doesn’t always understand my perspective on things.

I’m sure it’ll happen someday—and when it does, it’s pretty fantastic! What advice would you give someone who is considering starting a relationship with a Spaniard?

I guess my advice would be to realize that assumptions about the dating process can be really different for Spaniards and Americans. In my experience, they have more of an all-or-nothing attitude than I am used to. In America, I think it’s more accepted to casually date around until actually committing to a relationship. In contrast, I don’t think that the “casually dating” step really exists quite as much. So basically, the advice is to be careful when considering a relationship with someone, and only start a relationship if you are ready for him to assume you are committed.

Do you plan on living in the US or in Spain long term? Why?

I don’t know yet where I’d like to live long term, I do know that I want to continue traveling for a while before settling down, whether its in the US or in Spain.

Do you plan on having children? If so, do you plan on raising them bilingual?

When I have children, whether it’s with Dani or not, I definitely plan on raising them bilingual—or trilingual, if possible! It always frustrates me to see people who don’t pass on the gift of language to their children.

I’ve always envisioned myself teaching Spanish to my children, but the other day I had a thought that made me laugh: if I ended up having children in Spain, it would be the other way around. I would have to teach my kids English!

If you could import something from the US to Spain (and vice versa), what would it be?

This summer, I would “import” Dani from Spain to the US so he could visit me, meet my family and friends, and see my city! Sadly, its not financially possible right now.

After I return to Cadiz, I would probably import good Mexican food.

Good Mexican food, yes! I’m hoping my new home, Madrid, has some good Mexican! How has being in a relationship with a Spaniard changed you?

I’m afraid of sounding a bit cliché with this answer, but one way I think I’ve changed is my patience. Patience in life in general, patience with myself when I have trouble communicating, patience with him when he doesn’t understand what I want him to understand, and patience when figuring out our differences.

Sometimes most difficult: patience when I’m the only English speaker at family gatherings that last longer than I expected … (ha).

Thank you, Leah! It’s been a pleasure. Remember, if you want to be a part of my series, So You’re Dating a Spaniard, please email me at kalhendr[at]gmail[dot]com.

Almost Reverse Culture Shock

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I now come and go between the US and Spain with little to no problems. Besides frustration at airports. Airports, I used to love you, now I hate you.

But here are some things I will always do upon returning to the States:

  • Start to say perdón to people when I bump into them in the grocery store.
  • Refer to my phone as my “mobile.”
  • Search for the toilet flusher on top of the toilet in public places. This will last a good ten seconds until I finally turn around and have a “Duhhhh” moment all to myself.
  • Forget whether it’s in the States or the US where light switches are generally inside the room.
  • Marvel at the fact that stoplights are indeed on the other side of the street. Does this make more or less sense?
  • Eat lunch at 2 p.m., then 1:30, then 1,  but never, ever 12. Who can eat lunch at 12, let alone 11?
  • Ask for the “ag … I mean, water.”

What do you always do upon returning home to the States (or to Spain or to wherever you’re from)?